To Go Or To Stay!

(from Hamlet, spoken by Hamlet)
To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to: ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there’s the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause—there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th’oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of dispriz’d love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th’unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovere’d country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.

To go or to stay? To step bravely into an undiscovered inner land or to stay in the safety and security of home and grunt and sweat under a weary life. This is the question!

As I stand at the entrance of the Labyrinth sounding decidedly like poor, despondent Hamlet, the King of Pentacles, normally known as the master of stability and comfort surprises me. He makes it quite clear that he really doesn’t think that staying will sustain my spirit, especially in these dystopian times of lockdowns, curfews and mandatory mask wearing.

He tells me that now that the siren song of adventure has sounded its perfectly reasonable to chuck in the mundane everyday life and head off with that eccentric little donkey and the Raven I often keep company with.

Duncan and I agree to hit the road! However, as we plan he makes it quite clear that he is more than a little concerned about how much I am packing and asks if I really expect him to shoulder this load.

I remind him that the Suitcase I travelled with in the Forest of Enchantments was able to produce everything I needed, only to be tersely reminded me that Suitcase and I did have a falling out and we ended up being called to face the Council of the Animals.

Then, as if by magic, we heard a whooshing noise and low and behold a rather handsome Chariot materialised in front of us.

“We are happy to oblige” exclaimed the two cats pulling a very charming Gypsy wagon. “Our Gypsy Wagon has oodles of room! The only condition is that you must bring this Charioteer and the Tarot Del Feugo with you”

“Done!” I smiled! “This is one of those offers you simply cannot refuse!”

 

Meet Duncan the Donkey

Time to make space for intuition. Duncan and the Tarot/Oracle decks who are travelling with me are like the keepers of the creative flame.

A pivotal chapter in Women Who Run With the Wolves is Chapter 3 which tells of The Doll in Her Pocket and Vasalisa the Wise.

Estes explains that intuition is the treasure of a woman’s psyche and that intuition is like a divining instrument through which we can see with uncanny interior vision. She says that intuition is like a wise old woman who is with you always.

Unfortunately many of us have lost our ability to make contact with the wise old woman and do not know how to use a divining instrument. So, we need a companion who will help maintain contact her.

Duncan is the equivalent of Vasalisa’s Doll. Of course Donkey’s can be distracted by green pastures and do like to take the time to smell the roses so my guides have made sure that I have reliable advisors in the form of Tarot and Oracle decks. They will also be travelling with me, forming small councils to provide advice.

Collectively they can act as translators and serve as keepers of the creative flame. I believe, I trust that they will help me strengthen my intuitive powers and help me find the landscape within which to establish a new wild garden.

Who Is My Inner Wild Woman?

I would like to think that by engaging in this challenge I will have a clearer idea of who the inner wild woman is. When I asked the Medicine Woman Tarot to shed some light on who this inner wild woman is the Exemplar of Bowls spoke quite clearly.

The lesson of this card is that I have many teachings to pass on. It urges me to consider how to use my particular talents as a vehicle for the expression of the wisdom I have gained. This card tells me that it is time to settle back and integrate my experiences, to look back at the far distance I have come and to count my blessings.

The card also points out that my service to others is as natural as breathing and that the full thrust of my life now is to be directed towards my devotion to higher beings who have guided me over the past 70 years.

My bowls are indeed full with the treasures of Heaven and Earth and I will willingly continue to share these treasures.

The work of this challenge is to travel to the House of Baba Yaga, meet and be guided by her and complete the final leg of my life’s work by creating a beautiful wild garden in a new landscape.

Preparing to Go

The time is right! I have come full circle. It is time for me to accept the challenge and reinvigorate the inner wild, creative woman. I am ready and willing! I have packed a bag and slipped through the portal. I will travel to the House of Baba Yaga with my faithful donkey and raven companions, ‘The Medicine Woman Tarot’,  78 Sidhe from the Tarot of the Sidhe and any other decks that insist upon coming. It is shaping up to be quite an entourage!

When I accepted the Wild Woman Tarot Challenge on Instagram I made a pot of Tiny Tea, sat quietly and asked the Medicine Woman Tarot deck to help me articulate why I was drawn to this challenge. Then I drew a card. Out popped the Seed (The Fool). I drew my breath, punched the air and screamed YES! I am ready to set out on another Fool’s journey, ready to carry my memories, my dreams, my talents, my hopes with me. I am in a phase of manifestation, seeking to plant a wild creative garden in a new landscape and I am travelling to work with the guide who is best equipped to support me.

When you set out on an adventure like this it is good to have an old fashioned map. I have vivid recollections of spending six months travelling, with my late husband, around Great Britain, Wales, Ireland, Scotland and Western Europe with only paper maps to guide us.

Paper maps have been in use since time immemorial. They were used by early travelers and explorers to find directions and to locate important features and landmarks. Ours provided a security blanket and we added to our collection as we travelled.

However, now, technological advancements have created digital maps that are more advanced as far as usage and features are concerned.

The map provided by Carol Bridges in her ‘Inner Guidebook’, a companion to the ‘Medicine Woman Tarot’ is useful because it provides a bigger picture and offers some anchorage when I have no clear idea of where I am headed.

All I know is that I am headed towards my guides house, the House of Baba Yaga. Baba Yaga has a reputation. She flies into your life  to help you get in touch with your wild woman, when you wish to reconnect with the natural, the primal, the instinctual. She demands that you shake off those chains and make space for intuition.

 

Lightning Bolt

 

Lightning, whose electricity,
Held the universe together,
Scowled malevolently
Through sword shaped eyes
That pierced the void as
Ravenous Raven, lady of birds and beasts
Erotically danced with promiscuous Wind

Emboldened
Charged by atoms, electrons, protons
Lightning hurled a bolt along a wire of air molecules
That collided upon earth’s stage
At the very spot in Dodona where
a single oak tree stood
Igniting fire.

Raven who lived on peaks of mountainsides,
Who lived in caves
Who rested on the boughs of this very tree
Looked up in wonder
Captivated, mesmerized by
Capricious Lightning’s audaciously bright, flashy show

The gift of fire, of electricity
Bought by Lightning to this most sacred place
His fired passion for Raven
Lives on in the bowels of
the mountains, the caves, the trees
Is told by birds and beasts
Lightning man’s imagination

Metaphor Seeds Imagination

 

From the formless void
Motes, particles, miniscule molecules of matter
Slowly began to stir
Drawn by an invisible procreative,
Primordial force
They gravitated
Clinging together tenaciously
Swelling into a giant cluster
A sensual shape with
Dark raven wings

Inflaming, arousing desire, Raven
Spread her wings
Dancing, gyrating provocatively
Upon Wind’s fingertips
Wind and raven’s coming together
Borne of frenzied passion
Was a union, an act of love?
From which was birthed
An exquisite silver, moon egg
Swollen with life.

Curled within the silver womb
Amid deep silence
Lay the Goddess of Love,
Goddess of erotic love, fertility
Wrapped in the very wings
Upon which would ride, ravenous
Procreative inspiration
The all powerful
Creative energy
That fuels the universe

Nigredo

Raven carried her ball of light into the sky,
so we no longer live in darkness.

The old self image must die
Death must precede the
Psychological revolution that is welling
the creative reorganization demanding to
Unblock the flow of psychic energy and
Give life new meaning

Into the cauldron Raven
Beautiful soul maiden gently places
Black seeds from my shadow
Black wormseed from my ego
to incubate, regenerate and
Facilitate rebirth

A beginning, the end
Dying to the senses, withdrawing
Voluntarily entering the dark inner world of the soul
at home in the darkness of suffering
Only in death is a greater thing born
Only within the darkness lie germs of recovery

African Sleeping Sickness

Over recent weeks I have spent dark days
Lethargically slumped
over my writing desk
I have been feeling dispirited and dull
My concentration has gone
and I am now prone
To frequent,
unpredictable mood changes

For days now I have felt indifferent
decidedly irritable and
if you so much as look at me
I am likely to snarl viciously and
Aggressively demand to know
why, just because
I teach people how to write
Everyone expects me to be an accomplished writer

What could someone
With a banal daily life like mine
Possibly have to write
In verse or prose for that matter?
Of what consequence
Are my sporadic, deranged mutterings?
It has all been a façade, a masquerade
all done with smoke and mirrors

This proliferation, this sudden invasion of my organs
this debilitating infection of my brain has left me
suffering from a chronic, torpor
It is an effort even
to raise my pen
I am suffering from daytime insomnia
exhausted by periods of sleep-like unconsciousness
And fear I will slip into a deep coma
wither and die of sleeping sickness

Sleeping sickness?
First described in the fourteenth century
when Sultan Djata of the Kingdom of Melli
was stricken by a lethargy that killed him
Only methodical destruction
of the tsetse flies habitat
repelled the spread but now, centuries later
a fresh reservoir of blood lies unprotected

Only a vigilant mobile surveillance system
with specialized staff
using effective diagnostic tools and
improved field control strategies
Will repel this resurgence
control this vigorous strain of sleeping sickness
causing neurological impairment in
lonely writers and artists all over the world

Composition

Gregarious maggot masses
Armed with mouth hooks
Prepare to rake over the
Black bitter heart
The decaying flesh
Of a lifeless writer
Slumped over a desk littered
With recent rejection slips

The haunting eyes of Anubis,
Watch silently as the skilled embalmer
Works through the night, her fingers
Caressing the artery reverently, impregnating
The lifeless writer with aromatic substances
Masking the decomposition
repelling the maggot masses

The embalmers composition lies complete
With just a hint of sandalwood in the still air
Accompanied by his embalmer, hia wife
The dead writer dressed in formal day suit
Awaits Christian love and forgiveness
For the eulogy to be
Tenderly spoken
For the ceremonials to begin

A cell phone’s ring tone breaks the silence
As the writer’s wife
Plans a merry weekend with
A gregarious editor who
Having agreed to publish
The writer’s retrospective
Prepares to rake in royalties

Veiled Parasite

The mosquito-borne parasite
Plasmodium falciparum
A veiled lady
Dances slow measured tango steps
On a ballroom of red blood cells

Disguising herself
She skilfully
Plays,
A genetic game
Of hide-and-seek

The mosquito-borne parasite
Plasmodium falciparum
A veiled lady
Wrapped in tightly bound bundles
Of red organza

Swirls in rhythm,
Camouflaged
Among helpless,
Ruptured red
Blood cells

Alert immune system spies
Sensing danger
Astutely identify
This red veiled lady
Dancing disguised

Sounding the alert
They spring to defence
Only to have her
Deftly switch form,
Change makeup, costume

Sixty different genes
Sixty different protein shields
A united force lined up
Barely discernible
Demanding
My body play catch-up
As plasmodium falciparum
Switches first one masked gene
Then another, relentlessly
Preserving
The disguise

Weary I lie
Red cells ruptured
My body
Listlessly battles
The wily parasite

Before I succumb I must
Like Captain Kirk
Unravel the secrets
Of the veiled parasites
Invisible power over me

Cabinet of Curiosities

A cabinet of wondrous curios
A delightful collection
Objects,
Carefully placed
Lying, seeming unconnected
Next to each other
Evoking,
Triggering memories
Permitting the mind to
Wander to faraway places

Microscopes,
Scales, microtomes,
Drafting tools,
Cameras,
Magic lanterns
Antique candle powered projectors
Fine laboratory glassware
Vintage beakers, funnels, test tubes, crucibles,
Dessicating jars
And a one-off hand blown, baroque piece carefully stored

A pair of rare wax anatomical models
Crutches and callipers,
Arm braces,
Blood pressure meters
And first aid dummies
Antique botanical prints
Woolly mammoth hair
Coprolites,
Spiny trilobites,
Skulls, fish and ammonites stored in labelled draws.

Butterflies mounted in Petri dishes
An Atlantis Moth
Obscure,
Whimsical and wonderful
Packets of seed,
Very old taxidermy birds, in excellent condition
Hand-made pills,
Patent medicines and toiletries.
The scent of human breast milk, swamp water and sex
Stored in tiny laboratory vials

All combine to fill
A purveyors
wonder chamber of
creative stimuli

Radiant Heated Fear

Radiant heated fear
Pulsates through blooded intestines
Pressing on my sphincter
Demanding I purge
Bloated intestinal tubes

Tubes pumping, pulsating
Razor edged emotions temporarily purged
Nervously anticipating another
Spontaneous panic filled attack
Triggered by relentless, stalking, circling fear

Fear of loss, of grief
Of utter helplessness in the face of
Chronic, debilitating pain
Fear that nothing will
Appease or palliate.

Palliate or appease the pain or
the rising bitter tasting vomit
Wedged in my throat
Unrelieved by sips of water.
Desperate I consider the gate of Mount of Purgatory

Purgatory no lofty island mountain
With indifferent angel keepers guarding the door
Demanding Prudence, Temperance, Fortitude, and Justice
Bowing my head in penitence
Will not change our fate.

Fated to stand on earth
Fated to bear witness to
a multitude of injustices meted out
By the hands of capricious
Mother Nature

Fever Bark

Jungle fever
Dulls the brain
Weakened by exhaustion
I lie, wracked
Pale, emaciated
Red blood cells infected
By the protozoans of
dappled winged parasites.

Blood-letting
Medieval catch all mercury
swallowed
Leeching, purging
The horrid malevolent spirit remains
Resistant
against
The blood-sucking parasite

Dressed in Cinchona’s laurel like leaves
Wearing a crimson gown
The fairest of Peruvian hand maidens
Harvests the Jesuit bark
Methodically grinding seeds
Into a bitter, colourless, amorphous powder
Amounting to the weight
Of two small silver coins

The fine bitter tasting
Popish powder
A powerful antipyretic
Given as a beverage
Mixed with lemon and lime
Soothes the blood-sucking parasite
And words flow
seamlessly

In Melbourne as in Lima

Heather Blakey April 2005

Malarial
Fever
Shivering
Temperature rising
Headaches
Hypotension
Jaundice

Two drops of blood spread on the microscope
Stained and examined
Detect the
Falciparum parasite carrying Anopheles mosquito
Confirm a
Malignant malaria affecting the brain
And nervous system

The resistant parasite is in the blood
Symptoms appear, disappear, come and go in phases
No known anti-malarial products
No quinine, doxycycline, mefloquine
Is tolerated
Will combat
The parasite that daily demands I write

Making Soul Hands

In Russian folklore there are many stories of Baba Yaga, the fearsome witch with iron teeth.

She is also known as Baba Yaga Boney Legs, because, in spite of a ferocious appetite, she is as thin as a skeleton. In Russian that’s: ‘Baba Yaga Kostianaya Noga’

In some stories she has two older sisters, who are also called Baba Yaga, just to confuse you!

Her nose is so long that it rattles against the ceiling of her hut when she snores, stretched out in all directions upon her ancient brick oven.

Not being a boringly-conventional witch, she does not wear a hat, and has never been seen on a broomstick. She travels perched in a large mortar with her knees almost touching her chin, and pushes herself across the forest floor with a pestle.

Whenever she appears on the scene, a wild wind begins to blow, the trees around creak and groan and leaves whirl through the air. Shrieking and wailing, a host of spirits often accompany her on her way.

Being a somewhat secretive lady, (in spite of all the din she makes,) she sweeps away all traces of herself with a broom made of silver birch (what are brooms for anyway?).

She can also fly through the air in the same manner.

Baba Yaga lives in a hut deep in the forest. Her hut seems to have a personality of its own and can move about on its extra-large chicken legs. Usually the hut is either spinning around as it moves through the forest or stands at rest with its back to the visitor. The windows of the hut seem to serve as eyes.

All the while it is spinning round, it emits blood-curdling screeches and will only come to a halt, amid much creaking and groaning, when a secret incantation is said. When it stops, it turns to face the visitor and lowers itself down on its chicken legs, throwing open the door with a loud crash.

The hut is sometimes surrounded by a fence made of bones, which helps to keep out intruders! The fence is topped with skulls whose blazing eye sockets illuminate the darkness.

When a visitor enters her hut, (not too often) Baba Yaga asks them whether they came of their own free will, or whether they were sent. (One answer is the right one!)

Thankfully, she appears to have no power over the pure of heart, such as Vasilisa and those of us who are ‘blessed’ (protected by the power of love, virtue, or a mother’s blessing.)

Baba Yaga rules over the elements. Her faithful servants are the White Horseman, the Red Horseman and the Black Horseman.

When Vasilissa asks her who these mysterious horsemen are, she replies: ‘My Bright Dawn, my Red Sun and my Dark Midnight.’

Amongst her other servants, are three bodiless and somewhat menacing pairs of hands, which appear out of thin air to do her bidding. She calls them “my soul friends” or “friends of my bosom” and she is more than a little reticent about discussing them with Vasilisa.

Another strange character who served as a herdsman for Baba Yaga is the sorcerer Koshchey the Deathless.

And here’s a mystery for you: While she is giving instructions to Vasilisa, Baba Yaga mentions that ‘someone spiteful’ had mixed earth in with her poppy-seeds.

What could she have meant? Could Baba Yaga possibly have an enemy? Would anyone dare to risk incurring her wrath?

Although she is mostly portrayed as a terrifying old crone, Baba Yaga can also play the role of a helper and wise woman. The Earth Mother, like all forces of nature, though often wild and untamed, can also be kind.

In her guise as wise hag, she sometimes gives advice and magical gifts to heroes and the pure of heart. The hero or heroine of the story often enters the crone’s domain searching for wisdom, knowledge and truth. She is all-knowing, all seeing and all-revealing to those who would dare to ask.

She is said to be a guardian spirit of the fountain of the Waters of Life and of Death.

Baba Yaga is the Arch-Crone, the Goddess of Wisdom and Death, the Bone Mother. Wild and untamable, she is a nature spirit bringing wisdom and death of ego, and through death, rebirth.

Trace your hand and create a soul friend who will do your bidding